I’ve learned the hard way that I don’t have to conform to everyone’s timeline, especially when it comes to marriage. For a long time, I was so pressured about not being married and the Nigerian society’s view of people like me that I made many avoidable relationship mistakes. The constant questions, comparisons and reminders of time passing were enough to make me feel like I was falling behind, even when no one said anything.

“Your mates are getting married o!” “Hope you know you’re not getting any younger?”

Omo! The pressure was real.

Then, somewhere along the way, I started prioritising getting married over whether my relationships were truly right for me.  Pressure can rush decisions that should be carefully considered. You might tolerate things you wouldn’t normally, hold on to unworkable situations, engage in unnecessary discussions and convince yourself that “at all, at all, na him bad pass!!”.

It’s okay to want to be married, but being desperate to meet societal expectations is where the real problem lies. Marriage is beautiful, but you shouldn’t lose yourself, compromise your values or settle for the wrong person just to prove you’re not behind.

Marry early or marry later, find your person today or in the next few years, it doesn’t matter.  MLife doesn’t happen at the same pace for everyone, and that’s perfectly fine.

My timeline is mine, and I don’t need to rush into something as important as marriage because I’m afraid of what people will say.

So, whether it’s an older family member getting married or a younger one, I’ll bring the vibes to the occasion and eat my Jollof rice and Amala with pride. If marriage is meant for me, it’ll happen and at the right time.